Thursday, July 14, 2011


I don't understand what her deal is. She went to HR and said I’m stalking her. Me. Stalking. I know. How crazy is that? We’ve been working together for just over eight monthsK and I thought we were pals. You can imagine how flabbergasted I was to hear this news. Sure, I’ve run into her a few times outside work, but it’s a small world. That’s going to happen. Like when I saw her at the coffee shop on Sunday morning, total coincidence! She looked at me all cross-eyed like I was some sort of psycho freak. The table next to hers was the only one open. What was I gonna do, stand and read my Muscle and Fitness magazine? Not likely. I thought it was a little weird that she was wearing a guy’s sweatshirt and I probably shouldn’t have mentioned it, but still! Also, is it my fault her house at 1426 Grove Street is basically on my way to work? No, it’s not. We're going to run into each other! Listen, nobody was more embarrassed than I was when I saw her with some dude at that wannabe-chic restaurant. I actually tried to hide behind a menu because I thought to myself, she must think I'm stalking her. The bar was directly in her line of sight. What am I supposed to do! I think the guy she was with's name was Brad or Bret or Brent or something. Whatever, he looked like a tool and I'm pretty sure they're not dating anymore. He probably doesn’t even get her adorably dark sense of humor. When I happened to bump into her at the farmer's market, I was like, this is too weird. She must be stalking me! That's always been my farmer's market. It’s a little far from my house, but it’s the only place to get those amazing hand-foraged golden chanterelles we both love so much. Anyway, I smoothed it over with HR. We chalked it up to a really long series of unfortunate coincidences. I hope it doesn't affect our working relationship. Or any other relationship that could possibly sprout up. I bet her hair smells like flowers.

No comments:

Post a Comment