SEGWAY TOURS

I actually can’t figure out why this bugs me so much. People seem like they’re having a great time checking out the city, broadening their horizons and utilizing a kick-ass technology in the process. What’s wrong with that? Why do I want to throw a stick in their wheel of happiness? Why do I hope one of them gets clotheslined then poop-bombed by a seagull? What does that say about me? Am I an animal? Am I a Killjoy Jenkins who can’t stand to see people having righteous goodtimes? Or am I disappointed about what the segway has become? We thought it was going to change the world, but it just turned out to change the world for meter maids and goofball tourists. I think it’s how they look at me as they go whizzing by. They know how annoying they are. You can tell by the gleeful shame written all over their faces. Or maybe they just look stupid in those helmets. Yeah, it’s the helmets. Nah, they’re legally obligated to wear those. No sense suffering massive head trauma just to avoid annoying me. Maybe I’m just mad about how expensive it is. God I want to go on a segway tour so bad.