TOM SHANE

Every time I hear Tom Shane’s voice on the radio I have Vietnam flashbacks, and I wasn’t even in Vietnam. I’d rather hear #24 being called at the DMV when I’m holding #346. I’d rather hear Edward Scissorhands and Freddy Krueger play Hangman on a chalkboard. I’d rather hear my parents making love. I’d rather hear Drew Barrymore talk about politics. I’d rather hear my Aunt Gertie talk about getting Shingles. I’d rather hear a fracker tell me why Obama sucks. I’d rather hear Russell Crowe sing. I’d rather hear someone in flip-flops step on a rusty nail. I’d rather hear Tyler Perry pitch me ideas for a Mcdonald’s commercial. I’d rather hear Rosanne Barr sing the national anthem. I’d rather hear Gilbert Godfrey read Mountain, Get Out of My Way by Montel Williams. I’d rather hear Train cover Nickleback songs.