POOPSMEAR™

That ain't chocolate, kids. Poopsmear™ angers me on a number of different levels. It angers me because it's, well, poop on a sidewalk. It also angers me for the person who steps in it. There's something about seeing Poopsmear™ that immediately transports you to the moment it occurs. You can see them reaching new levels on Angry Birds as they walk. You can feel the moment of impact; the shoe pressing down hard on the hot, wet dog (we hope) poop; the unmistakeable mix of disappointment and rage on their face. And we can empathize with the emotional trauma it will surely cause during cleanup.

Every Poopsmear™ tells a unique story. In the one pictured above, Wolverine was out walking his dog Pickles. The night before, as Wolverine was making his nightly spot of tea, Pickles saw his chance to devour the bread bowl of clam chowder sitting on the coffee table. Pickles was in heaven, but it didn't come without a price. During their morning walk he had to let loose the lion something fierce. Wolverine tried to stop it, but even he isn't fast enough for that kind of action. Being the good guy he is, he tried to pick it up. With bag in hand he gave it a fair go, but the situation quickly escalated. They had no choice but to flee the scene. Moments later, I mosey up and nearly step in it. But I don't. Because I'm not into Angry Birds.